Christmas Oyuyu Yuyuko Tanaka/Bond Story

Onana-chan is an alcohol-loving fish vendor who likes to laze around. Her younger sister dreams that one day she will get serious about her work. An excerpt from the play "Christmas Rakugo - Shibahama/Shiba Beach."

What is Christmas?

Yuyuko:

Umm... Hmm...

Yuyuko:

It's so hard to find a book on Christmas rakugo...

Yuyuko:

I can't get any good ideas on how to implement Christmas in a classic rakugo story...

Yuyuko:

Hmm... Christmas... Christmas...

Yuyuko:

What even is Christmas?

Yuyuko:

(As Hatchan)
"(Oh, Kuma-san. What's wrong?)"

Yuyuko:

(As Kuma-san)
"(Ooh, Hatchan.)"

Yuyuko:

(As Hatchan)
"(Are you worried about something?)"

Yuyuko:

(As Kuma-san)
"(Hmm... Do you know what Christmas is?)"

Yuyuko:

(As Hatchan)
"(Kuri-what? It sounds like an awful dish.)"

Yuyuko:

(As Kuma-san)
"(It's not food. Christmas is the birthday of Christ. The missionaries hold a festival on that day.)"

Yuyuko:

(As Hatchan)
"(Ooh, a festival! Sounds jolly!)"

Yuyuko:

(As Kuma-san)
"(It does indeed. But I'm still not sure what it is.)"

Yuyuko:

(As Hatchan)
"(What do you mean?)"

Yuyuko:

(As Kuma-san)
"(I don't understand why people celebrate Christmas by eating cakes, singing carols and exchanging presents.)"

Yuyuko:

(As Hatchan)
"(Maybe the presents are for their god?)"

Yuyuko:

(As Kuma-san)
"(No, they're things they want for themselves.)"

Yuyuko:

(As Hatchan)
"(What about their god?)"

Yuyuko:

(As Kuma-san)
"(Who knows.)"

Yuyuko:

(As Hatchan)
"(Doesn't he get jealous?)"

Yuyuko:

Ah...!

Yuyuko:

I've been thinking so much about a Christmas rakugo that I started thinking in rakugo...

Yuyuko:

And I'm nowhere near solving my dilemma...

Rui:

Welcome back, Yukko.

Yuyuko:

Hello...

Rui:

Care for some tea?

Yuyuko:

Yes, please. Thank you.

Yuyuko:

(Oh, I guess I could ask Rui about Christmas...)

Yuyuko:

Erm... There's something I want to ask you.

Rui:

Yes?

Yuyuko:

It's about Christmas...

Rui:

Oh, yes. Have you decided what you're going to get everyone?

Yuyuko:

Oh, about that...

Rui:

You haven't even started looking, have you?

Yuyuko:

......

Rui:

Listen, you have to observe someone very closely if you want to know how to choose their present. Look at what made them the happiest.

Rui:

Observation is important for our plays too, so don't miss this chance. Here's your tea.

Yuyuko:

Th-Thank you. I actually have a question about that...

Rui:

Huh?

Yuyuko:

Why do people exchange presents on Christmas?

Rui:

Huh?

Yuyuko:

Christmas is Christ's birthday, right? So why do people give each other presents instead of giving them to Christ?

Rui:

Why...? I had never thought about that before.

Yuyuko:

I might be thinking too hard about this, but I don't get it...

Rui:

Hmm... Ah! Why don't you compare it to what we do in Japan?

Yuyuko:

Huh?

Rui:

We throw a coin in a coin box when we pray at a shrine, right?

Yuyuko:

Sure.

Yuyuko:

Huh?

Rui:

We throw a coin in a coin box when we pray at a shrine, right?

Yuyuko:

Sure.

Rui:

When we do that we're not offering our money, but rather our gratitude and our prayers.

Yuyuko:

Oh, yes.

Rui:

The gods don't want our money, they want for us to pray at their shrines.

Rui:

I think that Christmas is similar. By exchanging presents, people learn to care for each other. That's their present to Christ.

Yuyuko:

I see... Caring for other people is what Christmas is all about.

Rui:

Exactly. At least that's how I see it.

Yuyuko:

I get it now. Thank you.

Rui:

Heh heh. I'm glad I was able to help.

Rui:

Oh, I'm going to do some shopping. Is there anything you need?

Yuyuko:

No, I got what I wanted just now.

Rui:

Really? Well, if you change your mind, let me know.

Yuyuko:

Sure. See you later.

Yuyuko:

Now that I know what Christmas means, I can get back to the script.

Yuyuko:

Oh, I almost forgot I had Banana-san's Santa outfit.

Yuyuko:

......

Yuyuko:

............

Yuyuko:

Well, no one's here, so I might as well try it on.

Yuyuko:

Hmm... I bet everyone would be shocked to see someone walking in this during the Edo period.

Yuyuko:

Ho-ho-ho! I'm Santa Claus. No matter how secure your house is, I'll sneak in and leave you presents!

Yuyuko:

Ho-ho-ho. You have been a good kid, so here's a special Yuyuko's rakugo CD--!

Rui:

Sorry, I forgot my phone... Eh!?

Yuyuko:

For you--!

Rui:

......

Yuyuko:

......

Rui:

...What...

Yuyuko:

(Oops... This is bad.)

Rui:

What are you doing?

Yuyuko:

(I have to wing it!)

Rui:

Why are you wearing a Santa outfit?

Yuyuko:

This is all a dream.

Rui:

Huh?

Yuyuko:

It's all a dream.

Rui:

...!? What!?

Yuyuko:

Rui, you're having a dream!

Rui:

Yukko?

Yuyuko:

This is all a dream!

Rui:

...Okay.

Yuyuko:

Aren't you forgetting about your shopping...?

Rui:

Hmm... Y-Yes. See you.

Yuyuko:

...Phew.

Yuyuko:

Something tells me she didn't fall for it, but I could use this setting for the script.

Yuyuko:

Time to get back to the script.

Tanaka Yuyuko's Rakugo Manual

Yuyuko:

Erm... Welcome to today's performance.

Yuyuko:

Before we start our Christmas rakugo "Shibahama", I'd like to go over the basics of rakugo.

Nana:

Yes, please!

Yuyuko:

For starters, this fan and this handkerchief are very important for the storyteller.

Yuyuko:

A storyteller can use these two small props to create a wide variety of stories. For example, they can use this fan as chopsticks and make it look like they're eating soba...

Yuyuko:

This is done by holding the fan upside-down in their right hand, and making a bowl shape with their left hand.

Nana:

Hmmm...

Yuyuko:

Let me give you an example...

Yuyuko:

Ooh, it's finally here. I love soba in winter!

Yuyuko:

*slurp* *slurp* Hmm! The soup is delicious. This is just the best for a cold night like today.

Yuyuko:

*slurp* Phew! That was truly divine! Well, this is how it's done.

Nana:

Whoa! You only had a fan and it looked like you were enjoying soba for real!

Yuyuko:

A real master can even portray a lonely food stall illuminated by a small torch on cold winter's night.

Nana:

I see! What else can you portray?

Yuyuko:

Using a fan, one can draw characters with it like a brush, or puff it with their mouth to portray smoking a pipe, or even drinking sake by opening the fan.

Nana:

Whoa! That's really cool!

Yuyuko:

A fan can also reproduce sounds. If you hold it like this and bang in on the floor...

Yuyuko:

It's me! Open the door!

Yuyuko:

As you can see, a fan has many uses.

Nana:

How do you use a handkerchief?

Yuyuko:

You can make it look like a wallet, or a letter, or even a contract. If you fold it this way, and hold it like this, you can open it up and... Ouch, this sweet potato is so hot!

Nana:

Rakugo performers create an entire world by just using their gestures and facial expressions!

Yuyuko:

Exactly. That's why it takes many years of training to become a storyteller.

Nana:

I have a question!

Yuyuko:

Yes, Banana-san. What is it?

Nana:

A storyteller performs many roles, right? How do they differentiate between them?

Yuyuko:

Hmm... Well, to put it simply... Have you ever watched a kabuki performance?

Nana:

Yes, a number of times.

Yuyuko:

Well, usually the higher-ranking performers stand on the right, while the lower-ranking ones stand on the left.

Yuyuko:

In rakugo, when a storyteller performs two different roles, they can be distinguished by the direction the storyteller is facing when they talk. They face toward the left side of the stage when talking to a lower-ranking character.

Nana:

Oh, I have noticed they turn their face quite often.

Yuyuko:

Exactly. If the storyteller doesn't perform these gestures well, the audience will get confused.

Nana:

It sounds really difficult to talk to someone who isn't actually there...

Yuyuko:

When a young performer starts their training, they use drumsticks that will be used in the actual performance to train.

Nana:

Oh, really?

Yuyuko:

They set them up so they can visualize the distance with whom they are speaking. Like this...

Yuyuko:

(Retired)
"Hey, Sadakichi."

Yuyuko:

(Sadakichi)
"Did you call me, sir?"

Yuyuko:

(Retired)
"Don't you "sir" me. Come here."

Yuyuko:

(Sadakichi)
"Yes, sir."

Yuyuko:

(Retired)
"Again with the "sir". I saw you napping just now."

Yuyuko:

(Sadakichi)
"Oh, I wasn't napping, sir. I was sleeping."

Yuyuko:

Well, those were a few lines from "Tea Ceremony"...

*clap clap clap*

Nana:

Yuyuko-chan, that was amazing! I honestly thought there were two people talking!

Yuyuko:

Thank you so much.

Nana:

All right, I'll give it a try!

Nana:

............

Yuyuko:

Banana-san... That just looks like you're swinging your neck around...

Nana:

This is too hard!

Nana:

Oh, well... It'll help me improve my skills, so I'll keep practicing!

Yuyuko:

Heh heh heh... Welcome to the profound world of rakugo.

Yuyuko:

I worked all night on the adaptation of the script. Thank you for worrying about me. I hope you'll enjoy my rakugo.

Yuyuko:

It's really hard to adapt a classic story. I'm glad I challenged myself.

Yuyuko:

Banana-san, Jun-Jun-san and Mahiru-san are waiting for my script.

Yuyuko:

I want to finish the script as soon as possible so we can deliver the best rakugo our skills allow. I hope you'll enjoy it.

Christmas Oyuyu Yuyuko Tanaka/Bond Story

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